Taking Big Steps

I know I said I was going to start blogging more often but then well life got crazy. I moved in with my boyfriend last week, after staying with him for two weeks straight. It is going really well, minus his little injury he sustained. He was skateboarding and fell directly on his ribs and broke his right ribs and has a collasped right lung. This being said, clearly things are rough around the house because he is so delicate right now. I love taking care of him but at the same time I am so lonely even though I am with him 24 hours a day. He isn't himself because he is medicated for pain. All my friends and family live like 20 minutes away and the other people I know up here are just not people I really want to hang out with all the time.
I have been looking for a job up here because then I'll meet more people in the area and well truthfully I hate my job and don't want to drive 30 minutes to work everyday. I know I should be thankful that I have a job at all, and I am. I just miss waitressing ( never thought I'd say that). But even though that is what I'd prefer to be doing, it just isn't possible at the time. I need to make better money and so I have been applying for administration positions that make 13-19 an hour. I am really hoping for some kind of response that isn't a scam -_-
It is so weird living with someone. You learn about them so much quicker than if you just hang out a couple days a week. This is total submersion with each other 24 hours a day 7 days a week. And while people think I am being wayyy too fast about this decision, I truly believe this is what I want. When I'm not here all I want to do is come home. Even when he isn't here I am just super comfortable being here. Even the cat, Mellow, is coming around and sleeps in bed with us from time to time - a total turn around from when she used to hide when I came in the door. This is her being adorable.

Other than that nothing is new in my life. Not a freaking thing.

Cheater Cheater ...

Well now that I have processed and made my decision -- I need to get this out. Yes my boyfriend cheated on me, yes we broke up, yes I am back with him. Now before we all go and FREAK OUT.. let me explain.

He has been groveling at my feet to be back in my life. I care about him as a person and he makes me happy for the most part. Even when he irritates me its in a funny way and so I am still smiling. We all make stupid decisions and I can't say I haven't made any of those. While we were not together, we were still talking almost daily and hanging out. I could see that he was jealous that I was going to move on without him. Then again I was beyond jealous that he was talking to another girl, the same girl he dumped me for nontheless. But when we were together it wasn't like either of us had anyone else. Now whether we are both REALLY good actors or what , the feelings were still there for me, and obviously for him too.

What really irks me is that my so called 'friends' are just so rude. I have lost a friend because of this. He has went out of his way to try to drive a wedge between us so that we don't get back together. Well clearly it worked just the opposite because boyfriend came to me and we talked about everything that the friend said. None of which was true ! And instead of driving us apart it brought us closer because then we had discussed how we were feeling and good stuff in the relationship world that is so important. But that is just the tip of the ice berg. Another friend said 'I care about you so much but you are setting yourself up for disappointment.'. Let me just point out only 2 of my friends have actually met boyfriend... two ! So it is just astounding that everyone can form an opinion on him when they don't know him ! It is freaking rediculous.

I think that if they were really my friend, then they would be happy and support me. Okay so maybe it isn't the best idea to be with him again, but I know what I am doing. I know what can happen and I know what I want to happen. So truthfully I think that some people just think that I need them to hold my hand through life. Which isn't true. I may make a lot of not so smart decisions but I also know how to deal with the after affects of my choices. So what's the worst that happens ? He cheats again , and I leave for good ? Or maybe just maybe we can be really happy together and then what ? Who knows ? That is part of the excitement of a relationship ... you don't know.

So I guess what I am trying to say is that friends sometimes think they know best and they don't. But trying to tell them that politley so they don't get their feelings hurt is the hardest part. Le sighhhhh.